What Am I?

am i pain
am i only illness
is my brain diseased
are my thoughts not my own
are these voices heard by me alone
are these cameras recording
who is watching
a large theater with the world
humanity watches as i suffer
trust will never happen again
they say i am crazy
i say that these things i fear are real
secret messages
direct communication with tv
ability to control events
everything is controlled by others
who are these beings
is it all just a dream
is my life someone’s nightmare
will they wake up before it is my time
does death awaken
does death breathe life
am i born yet
is this real
am i really nothing
is life nothingness
is eternity my existence